The Door Swings Both Ways: Interviewing the Interviewer

I was rejected from my current MSN program's School of Nursing as a BSN applicant in the spring of 2011. I often forget about how anxiety-inducing that was and overlook that obstacle when I think about my near 4.0 GPA in my Entry-Level Masters in Nursing program or my one year term as president of a graduate student organization. Because in the grand scheme of my educational career, that was a blip on my radar. Now, seven years later, I find myself in application mode again. It's my last quarter of nursing school...

...which means it's New Grad RN job-interview season, 

and people are N-E-R-V-O-U-S.

Almost all of my classmates want a spot in a highly coveted New Grad RN Residency program. There aren't that many in the state, which means we can each guarantee that at least one of our classmates is applying to one of the few positions in the same unit(s).

I genuinely wish success upon each of my peers; I would be beyond ecstatic to work alongside them, and in the end, I know I would feel truly happy for them if they got a job over me. 

But, I'm ashamed to admit it... a tiny piece of my heart sinks when I find out yet another person I know applied to the same unit I did. I feel guilty when I start sizing myself up against the same people I'm rooting for; I feel awkward when I don't want to tell people where I've applied in case someone we know gets hired instead of me; I feel panicked when I think of all the qualified applicants contending for the same position I am. But then again, why wouldn't I?

The world cultivates an energy of comparing yourself to others, and nursing is not exempt.

Career center representatives give speeches in our classes and around campus.

"THIS is exactly what you need to say in an interview to beat out any other applicant."
"Follow these resume tips to be the #1 recruit."

Our nursing instructors indicate they would have taken a job anywhere that offered it.

"Oh, that was such a stressful time for me. I applied to every hospital in the county hoping just any single one of them would hire me."

Nurses my classmates got to know during internships talked about them in comparison to others.

"How many other students from your cohort are applying to this unit? Are you nervous about interviewing at the same time as them?" 

We're trained over and over (purposefully or inadvertently) to think about things in terms of "me vs. them" and to eagerly accept the best offer given. Any job is better than no job, right?

In some ways, this mentality can be useful. If I want to get hired at a hospital with over 1,000 applicants, I darn well better figure out how to stand-out from the crowd. I'm not naive to the necessity of engaging in a little competition sometimes, and I'm not naive enough to put off accepting a job for a long time just because I don't think it's perfect.

But, there's more to the story.

In any field, an interviewee should also interview the interviewer. In nursing, it's especially critical. Nurses are some of the most compassionate and caring people you will meet in your entire life, but under the wrong leadership and circumstances, nurses can turn on one another.

If I want to feel happy and fulfilled, I have to work for a unit that aligns with my values and nurtures my growth. This means asking questions about a unit's culture, values, staff appreciation, and initiatives in place to prevent work violence. This means not prioritizing salary over work environment. My evaluation of a hospital is just as crucial (if not more) as their evaluation of me.

I think back to that rejection from my university's undergraduate nursing program. At the time, my eighteen-year old self thought I wasn't smart enough or well-rounded enough for a top-level BSN education. Looking back, I just wasn't at a time in my life where I was a good match for one. However, I've still accomplished all of my original goals and then some. Getting the opportunity to mature a little more, receive a biopsychology degree, obtain internships for underserved medical communities, and hold a Vice President position in my sorority taught me lessons that have brought me success throughout my nursing graduate education, lessons I wouldn't have learned had I gone straight into that BSN program. That original rejection was one of the best opportunities for me; it brought me lifelong friendships, leadership skills, an opportunity to live outside of Southern California, and so much more.

But in the spring of 2011, that rejection felt like such a setback.

Now, in the spring of 2018, I have to remind myself the opposite.

Leading up to my first interview this week, I'm constantly challenging my natural thoughts as they arise, and I'm dismissing whenever I start comparing myself to others. I'm reminding myself to trust in the process, and I'm trying to reprogram my mind to make certain ideas my mantras:

• I'll bloom wherever I'm planted. 
• A lack of an interview or job offer from my "dream hospital" does not equate to ruining my chance of a successful nursing career
• I can take some pressure off of myself by thinking of an interview as a way for me to assess the hospital as opposed to them just assessing me
• A job offer will not go to the "best applicant", but to the best fit. 
• If I don't get a job offer, it's not indicative that I'm an unqualified or undesirable applicant. It's indicative that the unit and I are not a good match right now, and I may not have been happy there at this time in my life
• In another seven years, during the spring of 2025, I'll look back at the outcome of these next few months as a blip on my radar.

Instead of thinking, what if they don't hire me? I'm thinking, what if they do? Will I be fulfilled? Will it be the right fit for my morals?

Life's worked out for me thus far. I'm ready to be confident in myself and trust that it will continue to do so. I'm finding peace with the interview process, and I hope that you will too.